Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
