i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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