I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
