you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
