Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize