You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
