I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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