You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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