I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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