I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
