Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
