What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize