im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize