i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
