I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
