God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
please come you make the beer taste better
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
