You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
