we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
