Me too!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
