There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
