Ambien. No doubt about it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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