operation harelip BJ is a go
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The air was thick with penises
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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