i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
