im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I believe in your delicious
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
