i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
