So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
