Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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