i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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