She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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