How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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