She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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