It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
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he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
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Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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