You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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