he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this will be a night to untag.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
