I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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