I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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