I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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