He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
