there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
