Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
