So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
