STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
