So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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