I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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