He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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