Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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