exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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