So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize