after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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