Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
