You're so nebulous sometimes
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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