I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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