Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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