It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
time to smoke my breakfast
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
