So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
