It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize