Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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