omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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