how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
