Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
