I need help removing her.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
