she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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