hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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