Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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