You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
