Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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